


Jelly

by beckalina



Category: NSYNC
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-04
Updated: 2010-02-04
Packaged: 2017-10-07 00:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckalina/pseuds/beckalina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We swallow all that love can give, cause love's the reason that we live."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jelly

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written 8/6/2001

It hadn't been intentional, you know that. Neither you, nor Justin, had planned it. The group was fading fast, you never spent time together outside of interviews and appearances. Even on the bus, Joey did his thing, while you did yours. Paths rarely crossed. You doubted it was much different on the other bus.

But you and Justin found solace in each other one night. Sharing a bottle of Jack and a pack of Smirnoff Ice, everything slowly unraveled. You'd always liked Justin, you and he could relate to each other on some level, but you never considered him a "best friend". That was Joey--until you realized that he had begun avoiding you. That everyone had begun avoiding everyone else.

With the exception of you and Justin.

The alcohol broke down walls that you'd had erected since Germany. Walls that acted as dams to prevent the feelings from escaping. Justin had been an attractive teenager, you had been young and just discovering yourself. You had to have those walls, lest you do something that you would only regret - something that would hurt Justin and the group.

The kisses were feverish, flavored by the fermented grain of the alcohol. The touches were gentle, delicate--igniting fires deep within your belly. Everything went slowly, you savored Justin, thinking you would never again experience this.

Until it happened the next night. And every night for three consecutive weeks.

And then JC called a group meeting, and you got that feeling in your gut. It was the same feeling you'd had before discovering just how much money Lou had taken from the group. An impending sense of dread.

The dissolution wasn't a group decision. You didn't want it to end, and neither did Justin. But your voices were ignored. They had you call to tell Johnny and set up the press conference, because that was what you did.

You knew things would never be the same.

You thought that you loved Justin, maybe. And that maybe he loved you, too. You didn't have anyone else, your family and friends could never grasp the workings of the inner circle. Neither could his. You told him that you thought you could love him, and his eyes told you all you needed to know.

There was no future for you and Justin. You would never be an "us". There was love, but the foundation was weak. You and he had built your love around the sinking sand of the group. Now that it was over, you had no reason to be comforted, no reason to comfort him.

And you knew, then, why neither of you had wanted to group to dissolve.


End file.
